With audible murmurs of “This is no way to live,” “What the hell am I doing here—I hate it here,” and “Fuck this place. Fuck this horrible place,” all 8.4 million citizens in each of the five boroughs packed up their belongings and told reporters they would rather blow their brains out with a shotgun than spend another waking moment in this festering cesspool of filth and scum and sadness.

God bless The Onion. Seriously. #buttheyforgotaboutthebedbugs

1. the-cyclopes-are-watching likes this
2. quitehonestly likes this
3. quitehonestly reblogged this from jessbennett and added:

   :) I love visiting ny, but this was just too funny…

4. katherinee likes this
5. miaotichaotic reblogged this from newsweek and added:

   what is it with NYC right now? does it top living under a wrecked bridge?

6. ragstoreverie reblogged this from newsweek and added:

   God bless The Onion. Seriously. #buttheyforgotaboutthebedbugs — (this new reblogging system is strange but I just wanted...

7. chrisalbert likes this
8. mmanal reblogged this from newsweek and added:

   God bless The Onion. Seriously. #buttheyforgotaboutthebedbugs

9. coalsofamber likes this
10. celinenyc likes this
11. mummey likes this
12. davidfritzson reblogged this from newsweek and added:

    God bless The Onion. Seriously. #buttheyforgotaboutthebedbugs

13. okee likes this
14. alexweisler likes this
15. jivar likes this
16. marketfresh likes this
17. cleonard reblogged this from newsweek and added:

    God bless The Onion. Seriously. #buttheyforgotaboutthebedbugs

18. wieberstein reblogged this from newsweek and added:

    God bless The Onion. Seriously. #buttheyforgotaboutthebedbugs

19. debbiestier likes this
20. fireflyinthesky likes this
21. sfarazali reblogged this from newsweek and added:

    God bless The Onion. Seriously. #buttheyforgotaboutthebedbugs

22. tiffehr likes this
23. mickeystiletto likes this
24. bamdo likes this
25. kidnostalgic likes this
26. hobokenhobo likes this
27. gingergeneral likes this
28. kjang reblogged this from newsweek and added:

    God bless The Onion. Seriously.

29. mamiya reblogged this from newsweek and added:

    God bless The Onion. Seriously. #buttheyforgotaboutthebedbugs

30. addyyoo likes this
31. ragstoreverie likes this
32. noepithets likes this
33. llbwwb likes this
34. theresmyblog likes this
35. badge-the-farmer reblogged this from newsweek and added:

    God bless The Onion. Seriously. #buttheyforgotaboutthebedbugs

36. sashawantsmore likes this
37. taralewisblog reblogged this from newsweek and added:

    God bless The Onion. Seriously. #buttheyforgotaboutthebedbugs

38. blackpolosandsweaters likes this
39. dauragon likes this
40. verbal-intercourse reblogged this from newsweek and added:

    Also….$130 Metrocards. *drops mic*

41. anindelibleline reblogged this from newsweek and added:

    So funny.

42. memelia reblogged this from newsweek and added:

    God bless The Onion. Seriously. #buttheyforgotaboutthebedbugs

43. iomegadrive reblogged this from newsweek and added:

    God bless The Onion. Seriously. #buttheyforgotaboutthebedbugs

44. gissica likes this
45. velocipedestrienne likes this
46. newsweek reblogged this from jessbennett and added:

    God bless The Onion. Seriously. #buttheyforgotaboutthebedbugs

47. jessbennett posted this