bogman’s last supper
last fall, with the aid of an attractive botanist who has the hots for my older brother, i began perfecting a 2,400 year-old recipe for gruel. there are older food recipes* out there but this one is certainly the most precise. it contains over 25 ingredients (one of which is fine sand) and takes days to make (mostly because gathering seeds is highly time consuming).
you might be wondering how such an old recipe was recorded—and the answer is neither parchment nor clay. in fact this particular gruel recipe was reverse-engineered from the stomach contents of a murdered european man from the age of iron. because his body was preserved for posterity in bog water, modern scientists have been able to determine (down to the smallest kernel) the type of gruel that the bogman had for dinner—and the answer is danish weedseed gruel.
i have written about the bogman and given my own recipe for his gruel over at the awl. if you’re so inclined, you can make your own tonight—you’ll just have to fly to denmark with your gleaning basket to do so*.
*for instance, check out this 3900 year-old sumerian beer-making poem.
*the fine print: some of the ingredients may cause photosensitivity and blistering of the skin.
bogman’s last supper illustration by niels bach
Honey! We’re cooking dinner tonight!