‘You don’t want to hear the phrase, ‘I’ll be right back,’ either. That’s code for ‘Go f—k yourself,’ according to a woman who used to fly for Northwest and taught me several terms specific to her profession.

‘You know how a plastic bottle of water gets all crinkly during a flight? Well, it happens to people, too, to our insides. That’s why we get all gassy.’

‘So what me and the other girls would sometimes do is fart while we walked up and down the aisle. No one could hear it on account of the engine noise, but, anyway, that’s what we called ‘crop dusting.’

- Just in time for the JetBlue chute incident, David Sedaris writes a personal history of air travel (via newyorker)

This explains so, so much.

(via markcoatney)