This election was more fun than 2008 because Sarah Palin was just a caricature. She was a slow-moving varmint. Mitt Romney, after a lifetime of wanting to be president, was like a thoroughbred dressage horse—and as an admirer of all things equestrian, I found him more enjoyable to lasso.

Rob Delaney is in this week’s Newsweek writing about—what else?—the campaign!

Worst apology ever? Judge for yourself. Previously.

Friend of Newsweek tumblr Amanda McCall (The Wendy Williams Show) and Parks and Recreation funny-guy Ben Schwartz (Jean-Ralphio!) have a new book out this week, Looking on the Bright Side with Baby Animals, which is a follow up to their second book, Asking Awkward Questions with Baby Animals, which followed their first best-seller, Breaking Bad News with Baby Animals, all of which we have long fantasized about plastering all over the office doors of high-level Newsweek executives. Anyway: we asked them to answer some of our burning questions about baby animals, because, well, we think they’re funny. Also, because Amanda once wrote a book called, “Hold My Gold: A White Girl’s Guide to the Hip-Hop.” Please love them.

NWK Tumblr: Do you really think our leg will grow back?
Ben:  Well, that’s the best part of our new book. It prevents you from ever having to ‘think’ about things like that. In fact, it prevents you from having to think about anything at all!

Is there a particular baby animal that’s best for breaking bad news?
Amanda: When we started writing our first book, and even into our second book, we thought all baby animals were equally helpful. But now we know that every baby animal has its own particular skill set.

Ben: For example, kittens are good for relationship problems, while puppies are better for medical emergencies. For crime and other legal matters? Baby bunnies. God, they’re good.

Could your new book help Barack Obama handle the economy?
Amanda: If Obama used baby animal postcards in all his negotiations, every American citizen would have free healthcare and drive a Bentley.

Who would i give this book to as a gift?
Amanda: Our books are for everyone. Even Kardashians. In fact, I’m convinced that if this book came out a month earlier, Kim and Kris would still be together.

What’s the most over-rated animal?
Ben: Humans.
Amanda: Well, between us, cute little baby bears can be real divas.

newyorker:

In this week’s magazine, Tina Fey writes about the lessons she learned as a writer on “Saturday Night Live.” Fey and other women use the ladies’ room; “the men urinate in cups.” Harvard graduates write “commercial parodies about people wearing barrels after the 1929 stock-market crash”; improvisers from Second City create “loud drag characters named Vicki and Staci screaming their catchphrase over and over.” Click over to the site for more vintage Tina Fey video.

Oh, Tina. Best quotes:

“Not all the men at ‘S.N.L.’ whizzed in cups. But four or five out of twenty did, so the men have to own that one”

“Only in comedy, by the way, does an obedient white girl from the suburbs count as diversity.”

I know older men in comedy who can barely feed and clean themselves, and they still work. The women, though, they’re all ‘crazy.’ I have a suspicion — and hear me out, because this is a rough one — that the definition of ‘crazy’ in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to fuck her anymore.

Tina Fey, from her New Yorker piece on Motherhood. See: The Best Quotes from Tina Fey’s New Yorker Piece on Motherhood.

Six months ago I was getting booed by my own audience when I would make jokes about Obama. I remember one show I had to say to my audience, ‘He’s the president, not your boyfriend.’

Bill Maher, interviewed by Joe Scarborough, for our ‘Interview Issue’