Posts tagged zombies
BOSTON—The serenity of a perfect spring afternoon was interrupted Saturday when hundreds of bloody zombies invaded Boston Common, storming across couples’ picnic blankets, halting buskers’ guitar strumming, and terrifying parents in town to visit their sons and daughters at college. Providing the apocalyptic soundtrack for Boston’s annual Zombie March—atonal feedback broadcast through his megaphone—is a bearded man wearing a boot on his head, a man who resembles some kind of demented Santa Claus. 

This is Vermin Supreme, and this is how he campaigns for president. Of the United States. Of America. Supreme, an eccentric performance artist and perennial political candidate, had a breakthrough year during his latest bid for the presidency in 2012 (former New York gubernatorial candidate Jimmy “The Rent is Too Damn High” McMillan was his running mate). 

Supreme finished third in the New Hampshire Democratic primary with 833 votes, and could be seen taunting Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum outside their events. For the show, he was profiled in major publications the world over, immortalized in merchandise and Internet memes, became the subject of a new documentary and upcoming series of video games, and has started giving speeches at colleges on the history of political satire. Even Highlights magazine, the wholesome staple of pediatric waiting rooms, featured a cartoon wizard holding a toothbrush that seems derivative of Supreme. 

Can a Zombie-Powered Presidential Candidate Go Legit? - NationalJournal.com

BOSTON—The serenity of a perfect spring afternoon was interrupted Saturday when hundreds of bloody zombies invaded Boston Common, storming across couples’ picnic blankets, halting buskers’ guitar strumming, and terrifying parents in town to visit their sons and daughters at college. Providing the apocalyptic soundtrack for Boston’s annual Zombie March—atonal feedback broadcast through his megaphone—is a bearded man wearing a boot on his head, a man who resembles some kind of demented Santa Claus.

This is Vermin Supreme, and this is how he campaigns for president. Of the United States. Of America. Supreme, an eccentric performance artist and perennial political candidate, had a breakthrough year during his latest bid for the presidency in 2012 (former New York gubernatorial candidate Jimmy “The Rent is Too Damn High” McMillan was his running mate).

Supreme finished third in the New Hampshire Democratic primary with 833 votes, and could be seen taunting Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum outside their events. For the show, he was profiled in major publications the world over, immortalized in merchandise and Internet memes, became the subject of a new documentary and upcoming series of video games, and has started giving speeches at colleges on the history of political satire. Even Highlights magazine, the wholesome staple of pediatric waiting rooms, featured a cartoon wizard holding a toothbrush that seems derivative of Supreme.

Can a Zombie-Powered Presidential Candidate Go Legit? - NationalJournal.com

In the event of a zombie apocalypse — or, if you prefer, zombiepocalypse — the Pentagon plans to save the nation with the Chaplain Corps, remote-controlled robots, and hand sanitizer. If an evil magician creates the zombies, the chaplains will step up. 

Robots could repair and operate power plants where human workers would otherwise attract hordes of the undead. Hand sanitizer has never been proven to stop the viruses that reanimate corpses, but it kills 99 percent of germs. 

Why not give it a try? It sounds silly, because it is silly. But those measures are detailed in “CONPLAN 8888,” or “Counter-Zombie Dominance,” an authentic United States Strategic Command working paper dated April 2011. 

“This plan was not actually designed as a joke,” says the 31-page document published recently by Foreign Policy. “The hyperbole involved in writing a ‘zombie survival plan’ actually provided a very useful and effective training tool.” 

The Pentagon doesn’t really think zombies are a threat to Mom and apple pie. Zombies present an opportunity to theorize how the military would react to a fast-spreading biological threat that could spawn hordes of enemy combatants and wreak chaos across the globe. 

In other words, it’s just a hypothetical model for tactical purposes that gets the top brass thinking. 

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention pulled a similar stunt when it issued guidelines to the public on zombie preparedness earlier this year. 

The CDC used the zombie ploy to explain how to prepare for any major disaster. The irony that’s probably lost on the generals, however, is that the Pentagon is inextricably linked to zombies. Really. 

The Pentagon Is Prepared for a Zombie Outbreak | VICE News

In the event of a zombie apocalypse — or, if you prefer, zombiepocalypse — the Pentagon plans to save the nation with the Chaplain Corps, remote-controlled robots, and hand sanitizer. If an evil magician creates the zombies, the chaplains will step up.

Robots could repair and operate power plants where human workers would otherwise attract hordes of the undead. Hand sanitizer has never been proven to stop the viruses that reanimate corpses, but it kills 99 percent of germs.

Why not give it a try? It sounds silly, because it is silly. But those measures are detailed in “CONPLAN 8888,” or “Counter-Zombie Dominance,” an authentic United States Strategic Command working paper dated April 2011.

“This plan was not actually designed as a joke,” says the 31-page document published recently by Foreign Policy. “The hyperbole involved in writing a ‘zombie survival plan’ actually provided a very useful and effective training tool.”

The Pentagon doesn’t really think zombies are a threat to Mom and apple pie. Zombies present an opportunity to theorize how the military would react to a fast-spreading biological threat that could spawn hordes of enemy combatants and wreak chaos across the globe.

In other words, it’s just a hypothetical model for tactical purposes that gets the top brass thinking.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention pulled a similar stunt when it issued guidelines to the public on zombie preparedness earlier this year.

The CDC used the zombie ploy to explain how to prepare for any major disaster. The irony that’s probably lost on the generals, however, is that the Pentagon is inextricably linked to zombies. Really.

The Pentagon Is Prepared for a Zombie Outbreak | VICE News

Micheline Bérnard always loved Lionel Desormeaux. Their parents were friends though that bonhomie had not quite carried on to the children. 

Micheline and Lionel went to primary and secondary school together, had known each other all their lives—when Lionel looked upon Micheline he was always overcome with the vague feeling he had seen her somewhere before while she was overcome with the precise knowledge that he was the man of her dreams. 

In truth, everyone loved Lionel Desormeaux. He was tall and brown with high cheekbones and full lips. His body was perfectly muscled and after a long day of swimming in the ocean, he would emerge from the salty water, glistening. 

Micheline would sit in a cabana, invisible. She would lick her lips and she would stare. She would think, “Look at me, Lionel,” but he never did. 

When Lionel walked, there was an air about him. He moved slowly but with deliberate steps and sometimes, when he walked, people swore they could hear the bass of a deep drum. His mother, who loved her only boy more than any other, always told him, “Lionel, you are the son of L’Ouverture.” 

He believed her. He believed everything his mother ever told him. Lionel always told his friends, “My father freed our people. I am his greatest son.” In Port-au-Prince, there were too many women. Micheline knew competition for Lionel’s attention was fierce. She was attractive, petite. She wore her thick hair in a sensible bun. 

On weekends, she would let that hair down and when she walked by, men would shout, “Quelle belle paire de jambes,” what beautiful legs, and Micheline would savor the thrilling taste of their attention. Most Friday nights, Micheline and her friends would gather at Oasis, a popular nightclub on the edge of the Bel Air slum. She drank fruity drinks and smoked French cigarettes and wore skirts revealing just the right amount of leg. 

Lionel was always surrounded by a mob of adoring women. He let them buy him rum and Cokes and always sat at the center of the room wearing his pressed linen slacks and dark tee shirts that showed off his perfect, chiseled arms. 

At the end of the night, he would select one woman to take home, bed her thoroughly, and wish her well the following morning. The stone path to his front door was lined with the tears and soiled panties of the women Lionel had sexed then scorned. 

On her birthday, Micheline decided she would be the woman Lionel took home. She wore a bright sundress, strapless. She dabbed perfume everywhere she wanted to feel Lionel’s lips. She wore high heels so high her brother had to help her into the nightclub. 

When Lionel arrived to hold court, Micheline made sure she was closest. She smiled widely and angled her shoulders just so and leaned in so he could see everything he wanted to see within her ample cleavage. At the end of the night, Lionel nodded in her direction. He said, “Tonight you will know the affections of L’Ouverture’s greatest son.” 

There is No “E” in Zombi Which Means There Can Be No You Or We by Roxane Gay - Guernica

Micheline Bérnard always loved Lionel Desormeaux. Their parents were friends though that bonhomie had not quite carried on to the children.

Micheline and Lionel went to primary and secondary school together, had known each other all their lives—when Lionel looked upon Micheline he was always overcome with the vague feeling he had seen her somewhere before while she was overcome with the precise knowledge that he was the man of her dreams.

In truth, everyone loved Lionel Desormeaux. He was tall and brown with high cheekbones and full lips. His body was perfectly muscled and after a long day of swimming in the ocean, he would emerge from the salty water, glistening.

Micheline would sit in a cabana, invisible. She would lick her lips and she would stare. She would think, “Look at me, Lionel,” but he never did.

When Lionel walked, there was an air about him. He moved slowly but with deliberate steps and sometimes, when he walked, people swore they could hear the bass of a deep drum. His mother, who loved her only boy more than any other, always told him, “Lionel, you are the son of L’Ouverture.”

He believed her. He believed everything his mother ever told him. Lionel always told his friends, “My father freed our people. I am his greatest son.” In Port-au-Prince, there were too many women. Micheline knew competition for Lionel’s attention was fierce. She was attractive, petite. She wore her thick hair in a sensible bun.

On weekends, she would let that hair down and when she walked by, men would shout, “Quelle belle paire de jambes,” what beautiful legs, and Micheline would savor the thrilling taste of their attention. Most Friday nights, Micheline and her friends would gather at Oasis, a popular nightclub on the edge of the Bel Air slum. She drank fruity drinks and smoked French cigarettes and wore skirts revealing just the right amount of leg.

Lionel was always surrounded by a mob of adoring women. He let them buy him rum and Cokes and always sat at the center of the room wearing his pressed linen slacks and dark tee shirts that showed off his perfect, chiseled arms.

At the end of the night, he would select one woman to take home, bed her thoroughly, and wish her well the following morning. The stone path to his front door was lined with the tears and soiled panties of the women Lionel had sexed then scorned.

On her birthday, Micheline decided she would be the woman Lionel took home. She wore a bright sundress, strapless. She dabbed perfume everywhere she wanted to feel Lionel’s lips. She wore high heels so high her brother had to help her into the nightclub.

When Lionel arrived to hold court, Micheline made sure she was closest. She smiled widely and angled her shoulders just so and leaned in so he could see everything he wanted to see within her ample cleavage. At the end of the night, Lionel nodded in her direction. He said, “Tonight you will know the affections of L’Ouverture’s greatest son.”

There is No “E” in Zombi Which Means There Can Be No You Or We by Roxane Gay - Guernica

A Q&A About Bath Salts

  • Q:So what the heck are bath salts?
  • A:“Bath Salts” is the nickname for a type of designer drug that’s sold over the Internet, in head shops, and even at gas stations and convenience stores. They come in the form of capsules, powders, or tablets, and are snorted, injected, or swallowed.
  • Q:What are bath salts made of?
  • A:Most bath salts contain one of two psychoactive chemicals: MDPV (also known as 3,4-Methylenedioxypyrovalerone) or mephedrone. Both are synthetic versions of a natural ingredient found in the East African khat plant.
  • Q:“Bath salts” is a ridiculous name for a drug. Where did it come from?
  • A:No one knows for sure. But because MDPV and mephedrone occupy a gray area legally, distributors have marketed them as something else: plant food, bath powder, and yes, bath salts.
  • Q:What do you mean by “a gray area legally”?
  • A:MDPV and mephedrone have been illegal in the United States since 2010, but the manufacturers try to avoid prosecution by slightly modifying the compounds to make them technically legal.
  • Q:How much do bath salts cost?
  • A:About $25 to $50 per packet.
  • Q:Will taking bath salts cause me to become a cannibal?
  • A:Unlikely. But the effects of bath salts are powerful. They stimulate the central nervous system like methamphetamines, plus cause hallucinations, and even psychosis. Other effects: agitation, suicidal thoughts, chest pains, high blood pressure, and rapid heartbeat. On the plus side, you can get a good deal of vacuuming done.
  • Q:But can bath salts kill me?
  • A:Yes. As with methamphetamines, the increased heart rate can cause a heart attack.